About 2 years ago, I attended a workshop on how to write electronic newsletters. I exchanged cards with a guy I’ll call Paul because I can’t really remember his name.

We actually corresponded a couple of times in the first month after we met, but I really don’t know Paul. I don’t need to buy anything from Paul. None of the people I know need to buy anything from Paul. But I’ve been getting Paul’s electronic newsletters about once a month for 2 years. And, in today’s world of furious networking, I feel obliged to keep getting Paul’s newsletter. I fear that if I sever the connection to Paul by unsubscribing from his newsletter, I’ll make Paul feel bad, or I’ll miss the opportunity of a lifetime because I no longer have his contact number to make an important connection for my business.

I’ve gotten to the point where his email (which just arrived) in my inbox makes me wince. I haven’t opened one of them in at least 20 editions. They just sit there and make me feel guilty for hating them. Perhaps you have to have grown up in a Catholic family to understand my guilt, but I hope you get the point.

The same goes for other vague connections I’ve made. I receive invitations to become a fan on Facebook for a company whose owner I met once. I get requests to contribute to fundraising for causes I don’t necessarily want to support, sent by people I’ve corresponded with a half dozen times. And I feel an obligation to keep all my connections, to support all efforts by independent people with gumption — because wouldn’t it be great if they supported me?

Is that what social networking today has led to? We’re all running around trying to scratch backs with hopes that we’ll have our backs scratched when we need it. Are we all afraid of losing the ability to be an important spoke in an important hub, so we stretch our network as far as the eye can see and never “defriend” anyone because we may need them later? Or is it just me?

I even feel uncomfortable writing this blog post. What if Paul reads it and recognizes himself? What if a casual connection feels slighted and doubts that I’m a real friend? And a bigger question…. how can I (we) expect to be real friends with everybody? I have 224 connections on LinkedIn, 1907 followers on Twitter and 179 Facebook friends, and I’d consider myself a moderately successful networker. Is this really all necessary to live, work, date and play in today’s society?

(Err… PS — feel free to reach out to me on any of the three networks — the more the merrier at this point, right?)

According to the Global Language Monitor, the word (phrase?) Web 2.0 became the millionth word of the English language today at 10:22 Stratford-on-Avon time. It barely beat out the “word” n00b, a classic from the gamer community, a disparaging term meaning a neophyte in game playing. Others in the top 15 for the race to 1,000,000,000 were Octomom, sexting, defriend and recessionista.

To defriend someone is to remove him from your list of contacts on MySpace, Facebook or other social networking sites. An ad campaign from Burger King asked people to defriend 10 people to receive a free Whopper. How can that really be a word? Recessionista is a portmanteau of recession and fashionista, meaning someone who strives to dress chic even though she’s broke. When the economy gets going again, this word should disappear. So why does it need to go into our permanent collection?

The Global Language Monitor says it has rules for determining when a word really becomes legitimate enough for the collection. It has to appear at least 25,000 times in a variety of geographic locations and media. The man behind the project said a word is created about once every 98 minutes.

As a professional writer, my first response is argh! These made up words and language additions drive me insane. Do you realize how long it takes to dig to find if Octomom has to be capitalized or hyphenated? For gosh sake’s… did you see that n00b uses zeros? How the heck am I supposed to know that?

This brings up the question of finding the 2009 ultimate style guide. The Second Edition of the Oxford English Dictionary has, give or take, about a quarter of a million words and definitions. The edgy, off-color Urban Dictionary claims to have 4,032,262 definitions written since 1999. The word of the day today is beat feet, which means to leave a selected area, as in “My bitter ex-girlfriend showed up at the party I was at, so Jeff gave me a heads up and I beat feet.” Or should we rely on the Coffee house fact finders who post to Wikipedia? The Associated Press Stylebook just doesn’t help at times like these.

Here’s the top 16 near 1,000,000,000:

• 1,000,000: Web 2.0 – The next generation of web products and services, coming soon to a browser near you.
• 999,999: Jai Ho! – The Hindi phrase signifying the joy of victory, used as an exclamation, sometimes rendered as “It is accomplished”. Achieved English-language popularity through the multiple Academy Award Winning film, “Slumdog Millionaire”.
• 999,998: N00b — From the Gamer Community, a neophyte in playing a particular game; used as a disparaging term.
• 999,997: Slumdog – a formerly disparaging, now often endearing, comment upon those residing in the slums of India.
• 999,996: Cloud Computing – The ‘cloud’ has been technical jargon for the Internet for many years. It is now passing into more general usage.
• 999,995: Carbon Neutral — One of the many phrases relating to the effort to stem Climate Change.
• 999,994: Slow Food — Food other than the fast-food variety hopefully produced locally (locavores).
• 999,993: Octomom – The media phenomenon relating to the travails of the mother of the octuplets.
• 999,992: Greenwashing – Re-branding an old, often inferior, product as environmentally friendly.
• 999,991: Sexting – Sending email (or text messages) with sexual content.
• 999,990: Shovel Ready – Projects are ready to begin immediately upon the release of federal stimulus funds.
• 999,989: Defriend – Social networking terminology for cutting the connection with a formal friend.
• 999,988: Chengguan – Urban management officers, a cross between mayors, sheriff, and city managers.
• 999,987: Recessionista – Fashion conscious who use the global economic restructuring to their financial benefit.
• 999,986: Zombie Banks – Banks that would be dead if not for government intervention and cash infusion.
• 1,000,001: Financial Tsunami – The global financial restructuring that seemingly swept out of nowhere, wiping out trillions of dollars of assets, in a matter of months

This morning I got an email from Dancing Deer, my favorite place to buy cookies for my clients. “Share Your Story!” the subject line read.

The email was mostly an ad about their glorious brownies, cookies and cakes, with glowing testimonials by the scrumptious pictures. “Share Your Story!” they said. “Your feedback is our most powerful source of insight about how we’re doing. It is also our best reward!”

They asked me to submit an anecdote of why I love them for their blog. I declined — not because I don’t love them, but because there was nothing in it for me. (Keep reading this post… something in it for you at the bottom!)

I wanted a chance to win free brownies. Better yet, I wanted some free brownies! I wanted some incentive to spend my very precious time to help their marketing efforts.

Lately I’ve become very selfish with my time. When I first started working for myself as a professional writer, I spent lots and lots of time on things that didn’t move me forward. It has taken me a long time to realize how valuable each hour is — how much energy I spend with little 10-minute detours that don’t get me anywhere.

When you work for yourself, it’s easy to lose track of the value of time. After all, we can work on weekends. We don’t feel like someone’s taking advantage of us when we put in a 12-hour day. It’s all for our own benefit, right?

But very recently I did some math that scared me.

• Each day has 24 hours.
• I sleep about 8 hours a night. 16 hours left.
• I workout an average of an hour a day, give or take. 15 hours left.
• Showering, eating, milling about — that’s another 2 hours or so. Down to 13 hours.
• A little breathing time takes up probably 3 hours a day — TV, visiting with D.J., petting the cat. 11 hours.
• Answering email takes at least an hour, sometimes 2. It’s the little things that pile up. “Beth, what do you think of this idea?” “Beth, when can you meet for our next project?” All these notes require a few back-and-forth emails, and they all take time. Down to 8 hours.
• I need to bill at least 3-4 hours a day to make a living. That leaves about 4 hours.
• The 4 hours simply… go away. I Twitter them. I pop on to Facebook. I check our stock portfolio, a meager amount of investments that D.J. and I have fun watching. I’m embarrassed to admit I enjoy watching Yahoo! TV’s Primetime in No Time. It’s silly, but it makes me smile. And I check other stuff. And stand outside in the San Diego sunshine. And people call. And the cat sits on the keyboard. And the time just goes away.

I feel very sad that I don’t feel like I have the time to invest a few minutes for a company I admire. But doing so doesn’t move me forward, and I have to keep my priorities straight. My reaction (which was immediate and decided without hesistation) also gave me insight into my own dealings with people. What I offer has to be worth your time. What I write, what I do, what I give all need to be valuable to you.

On that note, did you sign up for my first-ever giveaway? Tell me your favorite free or low-cost tech tool for a chance to win a gift certificate from Amazon.com!

I woke up at 5:30 this morning to get to an introductory meeting of BNI, a networking group. With these types of groups, business people get together once a week or so to share names of prospects and help expand the word-of-mouth marketing reach of the members of the group.

Because I spend many of my days in sweats (or pajamas) by myself in my home office, I am not going to join because I don’t think I have enough to add. (After all, how many times can I pass of my cat as a prospect for life insurance?) But just because I go for days sometimes without seeing other people doesn’t mean I don’t know some amazing folks.

Here’s a brief look at some people and services you may need some day. I’ve known all these people for a long time, and I am recommending them because I know how much they care about what they do and how much care they put into their jobs.

Let me introduce…

1. My favorite Artist
   David Castle and I “met” via this blog, and I drool over his work. I haven’t purchased any of his big stuff, but I do regularly order his notecards for thank you notes. They’re the only non-recycled cards I buy, but I love them too much.
2. A prince of a Printer
   Have you ever done a workshop and needed spiral-bound workbooks, plus the resources on CDs? That’s what Omnipress does. They’re one of my clients, and I’m always so impressed with the way they respect their customers. If you call them, tell Chris Uschan I said hi. And don’t tell him I called them a printer. They’re much more than that.
3. An awesome Virtual Assistant
   I met Dawn Riley on Twitter, and she provides virtual assistance for any number of necessary but annoying tasks. She’s the extra hand you need, there when you need her.
4. A kick-rear Group Collaboration Solution
   The brains behind Pelotonics is Troy Malone, a very dear colleague I’ve been working with in one capacity or another since 2001. Pelotonics is project management for the rest of us — a simple, intuitive, web-based solution that organizes people and tasks in a project. They give you two projects for free forever in their basic plan.
5. A superlative Speechwriter
   The amazing Charlie Fern and I were co-managing editors of our college paper together. Charlie runs her own communications firm and worked for a while as Former First Lady Laura Bush’s speechwriter. Yeah, cool, ain’t it?
6. A lovable San Diego Bankruptcy Attorney
   Ok, so he’s my boyfriend, but D.J. Rausa of Rausa & Mason really takes his job of helping people overcome their debt problems seriously. I’ll call him up to see how his day is going, and he’ll say, “Great! I saved a house today.” I love that helping people is what makes him happy.
7. The coolest Parenting Resources
   I started out working with DrGreene.com to help them with a rewrite of their website. You have absolutely no idea how many thousands of articles this site holds. You can find everything from real-time results of the top baby names to advice on choosing a multivitamin for your family. Dr. Alan Greene and his wife, Cheryl, are generous, kind, sincere people who live to make the world a safer place for all of us.
8. The nicest New Yorker for New York City Group Tours
   Melinda Marinoff from NYC Group Tours is another client, and we’ve never actually met. She really, really, really loves New York, and she wants to show you why. She told me one story about the first tour group to come to the city after the 9/11 tragedy. Melinda took exquisite care of the group of older sightseers from the Midwest (I may have my details wrong here), and even Mayor Rudy Giuliani joined in to welcome them to their city. If I ever get to vacation in NYC, I’d call Melinda.
9. The hippest San Diego Dog Wrangler
   I can’t call Sondra Lagnado a dog walker…. she’s way more than that. She started Your Buddy & Me about the time I moved to the neighborhood. Sondra entertains your pets. She takes them to the many dog beaches in our area. She lets them run with her as she rides her bike. And when a cute guy walks up with a cute dog, she always notices the cute dog first — even if the dog’s really not that cute.
10. A most excellent Environmental Administration Specialist
    That’s not actually the title I should give my friend Jennifer Jones, owner of Cleanup Fund Reimbursement Services. Jennifer started her own company to help people involved in cleanup fund settlements deal with the red tape and administrative mess that they have to keep track of. She’s the only company of her kind, and she knows what she’s doing.
11. The guy you need to call if you ever need Online Voting
    Many of my clients have appeared on this list because I know how honest they are and how much they want to please their customers. Michael Tuteur is the CEO of Votenet Solutions, Inc. I interviewed lots and lots of Votenet customers for some of our projects, and I’m amazed by how much people love them. Plus, when you purchase one of their products, they’ll plant trees. Love the green stuff!

Dang… I know there are many more people who belong on this list, but I have to end somewhere.

PLEASE add your own… who’s your favorite web designer? Coffee shop owner? Housekeeper? Accountant? Share the love, people!