Life on Avenue Z, like Avenue Z Writing Solutions, is now 2 years old. In the first heady days of my writing career, I wrote at least 5 days a week, and I was building quite a following: perhaps 250 a day were stopping by to share “The Trials and Tribulations of a New Freelance Copywriter.” I adored the interchange, and I was so happy to welcome my readers.

But these days, the statistics tell another story. I still have wonderful, regular readers, but the dropoff has been monumental. Here are the top reasons why…

1. I’m not reading your blogs.
   Oh gosh but we had fun in the old days, visiting each other’s blogs and encouraging, laughing, leaving witty comments. I’d discover and learn to love new blogs from the blog rolls of my favorite blogging friends. But as time wore on and business picked up, I had less and less time to wander the internet for new sites or even stop by my favorites. And in the blogging world, if you don’t give, you don’t get. I miss you guys! I’m so sorry I’ve ceased stopping by.
2. I’m not writing often enough.
   If you don’t write new stuff, people don’t come by as often. If you come by and visit and the same post is up, you move on, and sooner or later, you don’t stop by anymore.
3. I’ve run out of things to say about being a new freelance copywriter.
   These days I wonder if I should rename this blog or simply start a new one. The purpose when I started was to document my first entrepreneurial adventure so others can learn from my mistakes when they start their own business. I’m pretty proud to say that I think I have helped people launch their freelance careers. Even today I get notes from fellow writers who ask questions about how to handle taxes or what I do about business cards or the like. But I’m not really facing new challenges about running my business. And I’m not sure “business as usual” posts are interesting to read.
4. I’ve kind of said it all.
   This is not quite true, but I frequently have ideas about new blog posts on motivation, sticking to a plan, how to be productive, etc. And then I remember that I’ve already covered that in such-and-such a post. And since most of the readers I have today have been with me for quite some time, I have a feeling they’d recognize some of the themes.
5. I’m distracted by other shiny social media toys.
   Facebook. Twitter. Whrrl. I send pictures, messages, posts on the fly. They can be short, and I get instant feedback and lots of it. I designed The Cheapskate Freelancer site so each post is less than 100 words, so it’s easy to churn out a post. It’s hard to get back to writing a daily 500-word post about what I’m doing, since it’s so easy to update the other sites in just a few words.

For all my excuses, I’m truly sad I’m not keeping up any more. I miss interacting and sharing my adventures. My goal is to turn my experiences into a book that will help other budding writers get started as freelancers, and maybe my manuscript is finished.

This morning I got an email from Dancing Deer, my favorite place to buy cookies for my clients. “Share Your Story!” the subject line read.

The email was mostly an ad about their glorious brownies, cookies and cakes, with glowing testimonials by the scrumptious pictures. “Share Your Story!” they said. “Your feedback is our most powerful source of insight about how we’re doing. It is also our best reward!”

They asked me to submit an anecdote of why I love them for their blog. I declined — not because I don’t love them, but because there was nothing in it for me. (Keep reading this post… something in it for you at the bottom!)

I wanted a chance to win free brownies. Better yet, I wanted some free brownies! I wanted some incentive to spend my very precious time to help their marketing efforts.

Lately I’ve become very selfish with my time. When I first started working for myself as a professional writer, I spent lots and lots of time on things that didn’t move me forward. It has taken me a long time to realize how valuable each hour is — how much energy I spend with little 10-minute detours that don’t get me anywhere.

When you work for yourself, it’s easy to lose track of the value of time. After all, we can work on weekends. We don’t feel like someone’s taking advantage of us when we put in a 12-hour day. It’s all for our own benefit, right?

But very recently I did some math that scared me.

• Each day has 24 hours.
• I sleep about 8 hours a night. 16 hours left.
• I workout an average of an hour a day, give or take. 15 hours left.
• Showering, eating, milling about — that’s another 2 hours or so. Down to 13 hours.
• A little breathing time takes up probably 3 hours a day — TV, visiting with D.J., petting the cat. 11 hours.
• Answering email takes at least an hour, sometimes 2. It’s the little things that pile up. “Beth, what do you think of this idea?” “Beth, when can you meet for our next project?” All these notes require a few back-and-forth emails, and they all take time. Down to 8 hours.
• I need to bill at least 3-4 hours a day to make a living. That leaves about 4 hours.
• The 4 hours simply… go away. I Twitter them. I pop on to Facebook. I check our stock portfolio, a meager amount of investments that D.J. and I have fun watching. I’m embarrassed to admit I enjoy watching Yahoo! TV’s Primetime in No Time. It’s silly, but it makes me smile. And I check other stuff. And stand outside in the San Diego sunshine. And people call. And the cat sits on the keyboard. And the time just goes away.

I feel very sad that I don’t feel like I have the time to invest a few minutes for a company I admire. But doing so doesn’t move me forward, and I have to keep my priorities straight. My reaction (which was immediate and decided without hesistation) also gave me insight into my own dealings with people. What I offer has to be worth your time. What I write, what I do, what I give all need to be valuable to you.

On that note, did you sign up for my first-ever giveaway? Tell me your favorite free or low-cost tech tool for a chance to win a gift certificate from Amazon.com!

At 4 this morning, I gave up sleeping. Blame the rich lobster tail and stuffed baked potatoes we had for dinner last night, or perhaps the 10,000 things I have on my mind, or maybe the faint smell of beach bonfires that sometimes linger in the air now that I live right on the beach. Whatever the reason, I found myself this morning with a rare opportunity to GET SOMETHING DONE.

Perfect, I thought. I can catch up with my Twitter friends. Or better yet, I can start on the outline of my nonfiction book. Or maybe try to empty out the email inbox, or edit my friend’s resume, or perhaps finally set up a Facebook page. Oh yeah, I need to add a few more entries to the Avenue Z Toolbox. Oohh… I have it…. I wrote 1500 words on my novel last Sunday with the San Diego writer’s group. Why don’t I add to that?

Or…

Or…

Or…

So now it’s close to 6 a.m. The possibilities of my precious, uninterrupted time period were too much for me. I ended up hanging the laundry, drinking some Alka-Seltzer, cleaning up a gift the cat left for me, making coffee, and sitting at this computer checking stats and reading about how Michelle Obama thinks their new puppy, Bo, is “kind of crazy.” (To my credit and our country’s embarrassment, this story made headlines everywhere.)

Absolutely nothing is wrong with the way I just spent the last two hours. My activities were normal and necessary (except for the puppy news), and I have nothing to be embarrassed about. If I had added those items to the list of possibilities for what I could do this morning, I would feel like I had accomplished something. Instead, I feel as if I completely wasted my window of opportunity.

I faced two obstacles. All the items on my list were important, and all of them would have filled the relatively small chunk of time I had free. I had no way of prioritizing these random to do thoughts. They kept materializing like popcorn as I poured the coffee. And since I couldn’t choose, I did none of the above.

I have a great way of dealing with my work tasks, but I haven’t yet applied that system to tasks that don’t involve direct revenue generation. For work, I write a to do list each day, on real paper. All the upcoming tasks I have for each client are listed, and those that are due today (or in the immediate future) receive a swipe of a yellow highlighter. That notepad stays directly in front of my keyboard all day, and my close of business doesn’t happen until all the yellow line items are gone.

But I don’t have such a list for my other hopes and dreams. I’m still trying to find direction with the book ideas. I still haven’t figured out how I want to brand myself in social media (Facebook, Twitter, etc.). I’m revamping Avenue Z Toolbox, so I’m not going to pour a lot of effort into building traffic until I have the new look (coming soon!). Until I truly embrace a plan for my future endeavors, I fear I’ll keep shuffling in place instead of moving forward when I have a precious window of free time.

Oh well. Perhaps more coffee will help.

A couple of weeks ago, I received a random email from the leader of a local open mic prose night. She told me one of my short stories had been selected for their showcase night.

I completely lost it! I started blubbering to D.J. about my fiction writing and how I didn’t really know if I wrote good fiction or if I could write or novel or if I should stick to writing for other people or or or…. I hadn’t even entered my name into the selection process — they had selected my piece from a reading I did almost 2 years ago.

I felt a beam of light shine down from the heavens onto my BlackBerry as I read her email.

This was a sign.

…A sign that I was a real writer at heart.

…A sign that I could write fiction.

…A sign that I should start working on one of the 3 or 4 novel ideas that stream through my head before I rise in the morning.

I’ve been going through somewhat of a writer’s crisis. Right now I make a living writing for other people. I’m ready to make a switch to start writing more for myself. But I’ve learned a lot about the book publishing industry, and I’m torn between what may be an emotional calling vs. a common-sense plan that will bring in revenue. What should I do?

Here are what I see as my potential projects and options:

1. Better safe than sorry, right?: I’m making a pretty good living writing for other people. Why mess with what works in an economy like this?
2. Really, this is a no-brainer: In 1996, my sister and I worked our way around the country for six months, doing everything from washing airplanes and windows to working in a spice factory, a bacon plant and an egg-packing facility. I wrote “America on Five Dollars an Hour,” and it was accepted for publication. At the last minute, the publisher and I had a parting of the ways (very long story).The manuscript needs a good revision, but it’s a book that’s done. I could rewrite the proposal and shop it around.
3. Now this one might work: I’ve built a successful business, not an amazing business, but a successful business, by being what I indelicately call a “Cheapass Freelancer.” I use free tech tools, invest in cheap marketing techniques, eat cheap food and take financial shortcuts wherever I can. I think others would benefit from my tips and tricks, so I was thinking of a book tentatively titled, “1000 Tips to Make a Decent Living as a Cheapass Freelancer.” (The title needs help, I know.) I could start off with an ebook here then work toward self-publishing and travel around making presentations. I’m pretty confident that this would resonate with people, especially as so many are laid off and starting their own freelancing businesses.
4. Starting to dream: I want to spend a year doing volunteer work for dozens and dozens of organizations and causes and write a book called “A Month of Sundays: A Year of Volunteering in America.” I actually had interest in this concept from a literary agent, but he and I had gone out together, so maybe he wasn’t really interested.
5. Getting a little nutty: Publishers love it when writers have an idea for a series of books, so she can build an audience that buys each new volume. I want to write a series based on my travels with my sister: two smart yet quirky chicks who get odd jobs in state after state and wind up embroiled in mysteries they need to solve.
6. Beth, really? Come on now: I’m fascinated with the interplay between certain scenarios/personalities and the media. I’ve got two novels in mind that will be funny, fast-paced social commentaries. One is based on the runaway bride episode, where a bride got cold feet and disappeared, only to claim that she was kidnapped. The second is about the myth of celebrity, where the ultimate inaugural ball (or some event) is supposed to include “everybody who is anybody.”

Dear readers, what should I do? As the numbers of the list get higher, the potential for revenue in the near future (or ever!) gets more remote. But if I don’t take the risk, nothing will change, and I will continue to have dreams of books never written in my head….

I’d love your feedback. What would you do?

PS — The reading is Tuesday night. Here are the details…