MenFightingLet’s talk about someone else’s drama for once, shall we?

My executive suite falls between two partners in some kind of a financial business. These are two very, very angry young men without proper knowledge of their inside voices.

“What the EFF? You EFFING hang up on me, your partner? You EFFING [this] and you EFFING [that] and it’s my EFFING money, you EFFING EFF!”

And on and on. Sometimes there was banging of furniture and frequently slamming of doors. And of course, there was lots of storming out of one office then the other. After the worst squalls, my other neighbors would peek their heads into the hallway and whisper, “Is everything safe?”

I never really felt threatened by their fights, even though I was scared to knock on their door to remind them they were among professionals. When it first started happening, I tattled to the building management, and the guys received warnings. The other tenants, however, were very unhappy with the mayhem. Today the partners broke up, and one of them (the one I actually liked) moved out of the office officially.

What struck me about this situation was how very, very peaceful I am in my business. I don’t yell, and I don’t get yelled at. I don’t fight. The only drama is that sometimes I have too much to do and miss a deadline or have to stay very late or work over the weekend. At my last job, there was always drama. People fought, conspired, manipulated and backstabbed. When my email dinged, I would cringe, fearing my boss’ wrath. One of my best friends is a project manager, and she sometimes has to mediate when the heads of two departments with different goals get together with penis rulers to see who wins an argument about the direction of the project (but her colleagues also bring in donuts, which helps).

My wish for you in your workplace is going to sound disgustingly sappy, but here is my sincere hope:

May you find a job with peace. May you work in an environment where you smile every day.

May your feedback be constructive, not cruel, and your disagreements feel like opportunities, not opposition.

No one deserves to be abused by bullies at a job, and I hope if you’re in that situation that each day you find a few moments to take steps toward changing your environment.