Sitting in my inbox at this very moment is an email that may very well change my life.

Or not.

It’s a book contract, sent to me by a small publisher who approached me about writing the hard-copy version of The Cheapskate Freelancer tools and tips. He’s been a follower of this blog, that blog and my journey as a freelance writer for several years. And he sees lots of potential.

Ummm. Let me say it again: A PUBLISHER ASKED ME TO WRITE A BOOK! Usually the way this works is that an author writes an in-depth proposal about a nonfiction book she wants to write. She sends it out to agents and big-name publishers and progressively smaller publishers, trading her self-addressed, stamped envelopes for rejection letters. Or that is how I pictured things would work, which is why I was daunted about trying to shop the idea around.

Instead, this guy approached me, and, if things go well in our conversation and negotiations next week, I’ll have a deadline of May 1 for a manuscript and artwork (THREE MONTHS! Argh!). And if things go as planned, the book will come out Nov. 1, just in time to buy your copies for holiday gifts.

I’m dancing. I’m freaking. I’m trying to figure out what to do. See, I had this whole fiction thing planned out, and I started writing every day, and I had interviews set up with local authors to get their advice, and I signed up for an online writing course taught by my former writing mentor’s mentor. I was gonna make that happen, but then this fell into my lap. And this is just too amazing an opportunity to pass up.

This has such opportunity! When the book comes out, I’ll have more credibility as a speaker, and I’ll have the opportunity to sell books during my presentations. I can create special ebooks online as a bonus for buying the book or for sale themselves. I can launch the sponsorship program I want to do on Cheapskate Freelancer and, for the first time ever, actually earn money from the hours and hours I have spent blogging.

So, Beth, what’s the hangup? I’m not sure, but I’m sure there is one somewhere in there. I see a significant challenge in the time/money connection. The way the standard contract is worded, I may not see a payment of any kind until mid-2011. That’s kind of a tough one to swallow. I need to dedicate some serious, serious time to both writing it and developing a stronger network to promote it. Serious time. When most authors add up the man hours it takes to produce a book compared to the amount they make from the book… we’ll let’s just say working at McDonald’s probably pays better.

I’m also concerned about things falling apart. See, I once danced and sang and fretted when I signed a book contract for America on Five Dollars an Hour, the nonfiction account of a 26-state journey my sister and I took together in 1996. After two painful years of demoralizing rewrites, the book ended up being crap, and the publisher and I parted ways. I still have the original 50-page, single-spaced, double-sided, indention-free version that I wrote on a portable typewriter as we traveled around the country, working as dog sitters, airplane washers, housekeepers and carburetor kit assembly people. I also have at least four versions of the thing here on this laptop and several hard copies in the garage. As the book died its slow death and I realized it would never be bound, I was humiliated, depressed and discouraged. I learned a lot about the process, but my grand idea was sacrificed for the lesson.

And don’t think I’m not worried about writing about my fears in public. The publisher reads this blog, of course. He’s a friend on Twitter and Facebook. He’s going to see my excitement and fear and concerns. But I have to trust that he probably appreciates my honesty and recognizes it as part of the process this author ( I can’t speak for others) goes through when presented with such an overwhelming opportunity. I don’t think he’ll back off because I’m a passionate writer and very talented worrywart.

Besides, I’ve vowed to myself that if this contract falls through for whatever reason, I’m going to go forward with this idea. I’m going to write the proposal, shop it around, collect rejection letters and hopefully find a great partner who will love this idea. I’ve already dropped the fiction course in anticipation of a frantic writing pace for the next few months. I might as well crank this out regardless of the outcome of this particular opportunity.

These days I love to write my posts to ask for your opinions, feedback, ideas, experiences and more. I want to hear from you, not just blabber on about my life. But this post is kind of old school. I’m not writing this post to ask you what to do (I’m moving forward) or to collect kudos (let’s not pop the champagne until the Jello sets a little more). I’m simply publishing some exciting news and sharing my reaction, and I’m warning you that this might be a bumpy ride.