Could I have a do-over, please?
In two days I will run my third marathon. Here’s my inner voice:
I’m not ready!! I didn’t run enough. I didn’t lose enough weight. I skipped track a couple of times. I didn’t push myself on long runs. I ate too many Cheese Nips at the aid stations. I should have eaten more protein and less fat. Have I been hydrating enough? Sleeping enough? Why didn’t I work harder?? Please, can I start again? I’ll do better next time!
Yeah, it’s not pretty. When your success or failure is measured by a digital readout on a timer as you cross the finish line, you’ve got one shot to make everything perfect, and it’s never perfect enough.
Frequently I write about how what I learn about running helps me with my life as a professional writer, but in this case, I should learn from my business experience. Writing for a living has no real finish line. All along the way I’m making adjustments, improvements, mistakes and achievements. Sure, I have big projects and deadlines, but the line for success is a lot more gray. If I get the project in on time and the client likes the results, I’m satisfied. I bet the prose can always be tighter, the words more precise, the verbs more vivid. But I’m not looking for a personal record every time I start a project. I’m more looking for overall improvement and a happy client.
I’ve not once stopped to scream… wait — I’ve eaten too much pizza! I can’t possibly succeed in this project! I have come to recognize that writing is a process, and the ideas, the precision, the talent all ebb and flow. That means I’m not always 100 percent prepared for a project or perfect with the final project… it means I’m constantly working toward a better goal and making progress. I need to view my running that way… Saturday’s marathon is simply one deadline in a lifelong quest to improve my fitness. My performance on this run has nothing to do with my self worth. If I get set a personal record, wonderful. If I don’t, I have a lifetime to keep improving (or at least until I grind my knees into powder).
I’ll try to keep this in mind for 26.2 miles, and I’ll try to stop my inner voice from drowning out the fun. Wish me luck!
jennywenny on 25 Jun 2009 at 6:42 am #
Good luck! I’m sure you’ll do great, one foot in front of the other.
Most of it is mental, so if you can get yourself into a positive frame of mind and try and forget about the pizza I know you’ll do great!
Have fun and I hope your poor body doesnt take too much of a pounding from all that running, and enjoy seattle, its so awesome! If you have time to check out any of tom douglas’ restaurants(I think thats his name) you’re in for a treat!
D.J. on 25 Jun 2009 at 10:12 am #
Oh Please!
You are so prepared, well trained, conditioned, and strong. You are an awesome running machine, an endurance athlete, a cute running chick, and you will chew up the Seattle Marathon and spit it out. Then I can take your dancing into the cool Seattle nite.
Rock On
My stroll down AVE Z, takes a turn to the North.
Sarah on 25 Jun 2009 at 1:55 pm #
I believe in you – you are prepared, both mentally and physically. I wish I was in shape like you!
Can’t wait to see you,
Sarah
Craig on 29 Jun 2009 at 10:13 am #
If I ran 2 miles I would probably die.
Congrats on just showing up to an event that requires more energy than the normal human can even summon. =)