I’m not feeling too good… think I’m coming down with a cold. So I figured today was as good as any for some down-home whinin’ and moanin’.

1. The damn garbage trucks
   I live and work in a typical residential neighborhood, but I have no idea why we have so many garbage trucks go by. The regular truck goes up one side of my street and down the other once a week (every other week the recycling truck does the same). Then special trucks come on different days for different commercial/multi-housing bins. So almost every day at least one truck comes by at least one time. I also live near a military base with its helicopter and jet trainings, plus the airport is right here. And the highway. And one car with an overly sensitive car alarm.
2. My antivirus software
   This morning my Norton 360 alerted me that my computer was no longer protected from something. Fix this problem! it said. Ok, so I pushed the red button marked “FIX.” And the problem was fixed. Why in the world did I have to go push the button? Did the system think that today I suddenly didn’t want to be protected anymore? It also went through a phase asking me to fix every tracking cookie. Mostly tracking cookies are good. They make it so John & Kira’s Chocolates remember me when I go back to drool. I don’t want to delete all my tracking cookies, and it’s a pain that everything comes to a screetching halt when I don’t “FIX” the cookie.
3. Spam
   My gosh… does spam still work? Are people really clicking on these things enough to make it worthwhile for the spammers to still send me 50 emails overnight? Here’s a direct quote from one of my emails from last night: “It would work up into inconceivable copy for the devoted mothers and wives, to men who deserved two young people one evening in july seemed to great mutual esteem, i bet harry haydock’s never a natral death. There is no reason at all to believe.” Who would click on that? Who would think that an email from a person named “Kermit Lang” was actually “a charming blue-eyed blonde, who looks for a male pen friend, or just a man to talk with on Skype or in real life!” Don’t we all know not to click on spam yet?
4. My cat
   Ok, this may anger my friends who love cats. And please remember that I love Mickey Mouse dearly. But right now the dang animal is sitting between me and this monitor, and she keeps getting up to stretch. I don’t like to reject her, so I keep straining my head from side to side to read around her. Something is wrong here! My cat should not affect my productivity.
   
5. My neighbors
   The guy directly across the street from me is home all the time. I’m not sure why. He stands outside his apartment and does this hoppy/skippy/pace-y thing outside his front door, and he always looks up at me when I exit my front door. I’ve heard he’s nice, but I’m afraid he’s going to be too friendly if I say hi, so I remain sullen-looking and business-like when I see him, which makes me feel like a heel. And another neighbor talks on his cell phone loudly from the driveway between my house and his. He also let his smoke alarm battery die, and for three months I heard CHRRRP at irregular intervals all night and day. He is very nice, and when I met him the other day, he apologized about the alarm and fixed it right away. After three months, mind you.

I wrote about a rough financial patch recently, and I’m happy to say that I’m back on track. I picked up a marketing consultation (they’re flying me out to Phoenix in October), a science-writing gig (due tomorrow), another ghost-writing gig (not yet finalized) and maybe another presentation. Plus a couple of my regular clients came back with new projects. I’m busy again!

Other news that makes me smile:

• Chocolate Helps Heart Stay Healthy
• I’ll be turning 40 in Paris
• Google Phone to Cost $179
• D.J. and I are playing nicely together
• Cafe Press has a whole line of things to make folks with cancer laugh (which they really need)

1. Life Lesson: Enjoy the downhills.
   I was cursing up a hill the other day on a loop near my house. As I gasped for air, I wondered why I chose such an uphill route. Then it struck me… when I start and finish at the same place, the net elevation gain is zero. I’m running down just as much as I’m running up, but I don’t notice the downhills. Thus, I’ve decided to make an effort to relish the flats, to smile on the downhills and to not take them for granted.
2. Business Lesson: It takes a lot of energy to keep your average.
   I use a wrist GPS system to keep track of my miles, pace, calories burned, etc. My display shows me my average pace. At the beginning, any change in cadence will change the pace quite a bit, but after mile 5, 9, 13… it takes a monumental effort to get the pace down just a few seconds. Thus, if you get behind in the first quarter, you have to work like a fiend to catch up. This is like my daily income goal. If on Monday I make 85 percent and on Tuesday hit 90 percent, I have to work like crazy the rest of the week so I end up with an average of 100 percent per day.
3. Fashion Lesson: These thighs were not made for short running skirts.
   No explanation needed.
4. Zen Lesson: Perhaps the answer is not at the finish line.
   Ever since cancer entered our family, I’ve been running just to run. I haven’t been stressing about my pace, counting my weekly mileage, beating myself up because I missed a workout. I’ve been taking off in the early evenings with nothing but the goal of exercising my body and resting my mind. And I’m having so much fun! Sunday I ran 21 (or 22 — it’s disputed) miles just because I could. D.J. rode his bike, bringing me refreshments every 2 or 3 miles. I took it slow and enjoyed the day more than I ever enjoyed a marathon. Not two months ago I was convinced that the joy of running was in finishing better, faster and stronger than the last race. Now I appreciate the simple joy of running.
5. Simplicity Lesson: You don’t need much to be a happy runner.
   Just like any sport with enthusiasts in the age of gadgets, you can outfit yourself with high-tech shoes, custom orthotics, advanced hydration systems, modern fabrics and expensive stereo systems. But all you really need to run is a pair of running shoes, some socks that won’t cause blisters and your favorite workout clothes. And in your life, you don’t need the latest electro-plasma TV, the newest luxury sedan, the most expensive coffee maker/bean grinder combo…. you pretty much need a place to sleep, a nice shower and a Mr. Coffee from Target.

A few minutes ago, my neighbor noticed me pressing a cold compress to my head.

“You ok?” he asked.

“Yep. I’m freezing a pimple!” I shot back cheerily.

A pimple. I’m almost 40. I own my own business. I have a master’s degree. And I’m still dealing with skin issues that are usually reserved for teenagers.

But my assumption that I should have outgrown the problem of zits got me thinking…. do we really outgrow the challenges of our youth?

When I was a teen, I wanted everyone to like me. I wanted to excel in the work I was doing and to move forward into an environment that would make me work even harder but would pay off more. I wanted to find a special someone who thought I was awesome. I was overly concerned with my weight and my clothes and my hair style, and how to make money and how to rid myself of unwanted body hair.

Has anything really changed?

Even though we perhaps still face many of the same challenges we have since our first days as adults, one thing sets us apart.

Confidence.

When teens exhibit the confidence to start their own businesses, they make the news. When a 40-year-old woman does it, she makes the rent. We’ve got to find the confidence to face our fears about those lingering problems. Perhaps I’ll never get over the desire to be liked, but I’m confident that I’ll always be able to find people who like me for me. Maybe I’ll never totally love the bathroom scale, but I am confident that no one but me really cares what I weigh.

I wouldn’t go back to being 13 again for a million dollars. Or 23. Or 33.  I love being almost 40. I love being confident, well earned with years of mistakes, triumphs, trials and errors. I love knowing that I can leave the house with this damn pimple and laugh about it. My life just keeps getting better, and I’m so very glad to be in it.