During this week’s conference I ran into both a Head Instigator and a Head Honcho. They were both sole proprietors of consulting businesses, and they had chosen offbeat titles to get attention.

Other interesting titles from the conference:

• Inspiration Agent
• No Title Given (I think that WAS her title)
• Leadership Strategist
• Marketing Guru
• Creative at Large

I also found an article from Forbes about crazy job titles, such as Director of First Impressions for the receptionist and Director of Chaos for a meeting planner. And James O’Neill’s blog found someone who called himself the Chief Snoggable Officer. Here at Avenue Z, I gave some thought to a crazy, fun title. I also gave some thought to naming my company “Lavender Fields” or something, so you know I wasn’t quite on track. I ended up vacillating between the oh-so-sexy “principal” or the uber chic “owner.” I couldn’t bring myself to permanently put a giggle into my job title because at the time I didn’t know which niche I’d dive into.

I think I made the right decision by going with the simple title of “owner.” Although, as the head honcho mentioned, having a funny title is a conversation starter, sticking to the basics and simply asserting my place as owner of the company works for me.

But if you’re in need of something creative, try this Job Title Generator.

I tell ya, I’m such a dumbass.

I’m on retainer with a company, and I just forced the issue that they seemed to be using me less and less. I was finding myself asking for things to work on every week or so, and the projects were diminishing.

The problem: My integrity. I wasn’t providing the full value of my retainer, and I could feel it getting worse. So I pushed the CEO to say what was on his mind, which was basically that yes, there wasn’t much work but that he was feeling bad about taking me off retainer.

So, basically I either dumped them or forced them to dump me. But I just couldn’t stand to sit around earning his money without giving him value.

So, does anyone have another HUGE monthly project sitting around? I’ve got some extra time….

Yep. Dumbass.

I have so many insights from this conference that I hardly know where to begin — perhaps the bottom up will work. Today’s topic — why do people give a flying flip about shoes!??!

I went to an excellent session on building your personal brand, and speaker Randy Siegel offered 7 Brand Builders.

Number Six:

Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Balance your individual style with clothing that will appeal to those you are trying to impress. Pay particular attention to how your boss dresses, and don’t forget details, especially your shoes. After our smile, they are often the first things people notice.

My reaction: Are you kidding? I never notice shoes. Who the hell cares about shoes?!?

So I asked the speaker and the audience: Do people really notice shoes?

The answer? A thunderous YES!

Not just a quiet yes, or a yes or two… I mean a real YES from every corner. Was I supposed to take Sex in the City more seriously? Am I fully ignorant of true American culture?

By this time I had tangled myself up into a pretzel so no one would see my shoes, which I had thought were perfectly acceptable when I left the house that morning. I had no idea this was really a high priority. Even though I think this is the most ridiculous thing in the world to worry about, I suppose it’s something I need to consider when I dress to meet clients. I promise myself that I will add new shoes to my fall budget.

PS — Anyone know the movie that inspired the title of this post?

More conference session insights to come….

Dear readers,

I need to delay the Tuesday post to Wednesday. I’m heading to the convention center for the last day of a conference I’ve been attending. I’ll share the fun stuff I learned. Here’s a snapshot of small but important lessons:

1. Registration people do not understand what cash is. Don’t try to use it.
2. Do not wear a light blue bra with a sleeveless red dress, even if it’s your favorite bra.
3. Small businesses should go office supply shopping in an expo hall.
4. After running a half marathon on Sunday, do not wear cute little heels on Monday.
5. You will meet 500 people who will say “Let’s talk after the show!” In reality, both you and your contacts will forget why you wanted to talk.