I’ve been living this week with a rock in my throat and a ball of anxiety in my belly. I don’t mean to scream, but here’s my inner voice:

OH MY GOD. NO ONE IS CALLING. I HAVE NO WORK. I DON’T HAVE TIME TO LOOK FOR WORK THIS WEEK. I’M IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!

Yesterday I realized that I’m being completely ridiculous. Completely. My business has not gone under.. it’s the week before Labor Day. People are out of the office. On Tuesday, they will step forward with new projects. And next week I will follow up with the three inquiries about my services that I got this week. Yep — THREE.

I think what I’m feeling is pretty common for small business owners. We live in fear that NOTHING WILL EVER HAPPEN AGAIN. Even if things are going well, we’re sure that if we don’t work 24/7, we will fall behind. The trick to small business success is to build something that rides out the ups and downs of the economy, the seasons, the holidays and the necessary days off.

And here I am with my family, and today we’re going to a thrift store to goof around. And I am grateful that we’re able to have so much fun. And I’m so very glad that I could take a few days off to visit.

So, shut up, Ziesenis, and go get your shoes on. You’ve got plenty to do today.

I’m here in the Denver area with my family this week, dealing with an emergency that we still don’t understand. We’re all trying to take a little time off from work to be together. My father worked with his company so he can keep benefits and work half time. My sister is a teacher, and she gets sick days, personal days, plus summers and holidays off. Mom retired a few years ago, so she has a flexible schedule when she needs one, although she does have a longstanding commitment to watch her 2-year-old grandson three days a week.

Me… I’m pissed at my company. Avenue Z Writing Solutions has no benefits package. I can’t use the Family and Medical Leave Act. I don’t have accrued vacation hours, personal days, sick days or holiday pay. When I’m not working, I don’t make a living. And this month, it looks like I’m going to go a full two weeks without billing real hours.

So… as a savvy small business owner, how can I solve this dilemma and plan for the unplanned? How can I create a financial plan that accounts for days off and emergencies?

I may be naive, but I don’t think this is rocket science. I think I need to make more money and put more of it aside. When you have a “regular” job, your company gives you one hour of vacation time for every x number of hours you work, right? So I need to figure out a formula of my own and put away the corresponding dollar amount so I can pay myself when I need to take a day off.

If anyone else has any ideas on how to plan for personal days when you own your own business, I’m all ears.

I didn’t get to hear the author speak at last week’s conference, but I picked up a copy of Dr. Edward Hallowell’s CrazyBusy: Overstretched, Overbooked, and About to Snap!.

Hallowell applies what he knows about ADHD and ADD to those of us who are going crazy in the digital world.

I LOVE his list of new words for new problems. Here are my top five…

1. Screensucking
   Wasting time engaging with any screen: computer, video game, TV, PDAs. “Held by a mysterious force, a person can sit long after the work has been done…. not especially enjoying what he is doing but not able to disconnect to turn off the machine.”
2. EMV or e-mail voice
   “The unearthly tone a person’s voice takes on when he is reading e-mail while talking to you on the phone.”
3. Gigaguilt
   The major guilt we feel when we are unable to keep track of the million tasks that we think we can accomplish with our high-tech lifestyle.
4. Morning Burst
   Your clearest thinking, freshest time of the day. For most people this is the morning. Hallowell calls the disruption of your clear-thinking time Morning Bust.
5. Fuhgeddomania and Loseophilia
   Forgetfulness due to data overload, and the tendency to lose things because you’re juggling more things than a human brain can manage.
6. Doomdart
   An obligation that slipped your mind that “suddenly pops into your consciousness like a poison dart.”

Last week’s conference fired me up! I left Tuesday night with a billion ideas for growing my business, changing my focus, raising my value…. I was planning to scour my new motivational books, buy some new shoes, expand, invest, extend! Grow, Beth, grow!

And when the phone rang Wednesday afternoon, everything changed.

The news from home has left me stunned. My family and I are at a loss. I’m flying out on Tuesday to support people who are making horribly tough decisions. I tell ya, no one’s having fun here.

This blog is about my adventures as a small business owner, for better or worse. I’ve spent a very long year building this business, and it’s how I make my living. Thus, I have to give some real thought to handling these circumstances.

Here’s my emergency management plan for Avenue Z Writing Solutions:

• Maintain the status quo with my current clients.
  I just lost my monthly retainer with one client, but I’m good as gold with the rest. I need to keep up with those projects, keep meeting deadlines and keep the income incoming.
• Put the expansion/growth on hold.
  I definitely understand a vision for the new shape of my business, but I don’t have to roll with that vision today. Or tomorrow.
• Make family a priority.
  I’m loyal to my clients. I love them. I want to be there for them and make sure they have what they need. But if they were to lose a trusted copywriter, they’d survive. My family needs me, and I’m irreplaceable.
• Shore up my hardware.
  I ended up having to return a laptop I purchased this summer because the keyboard went out. Thus my original limping laptop is all I have to travel with, and I anticipate I’ll be traveling quite a bit in the coming months. I need to purchase a new computer toute de suite. I’m thinking of getting a pink one.
• Avoid black/white thinking.
  My knee-jerk reactions are all absolute. I really need to wear a smart cap to make sure I don’t lock myself into one mode of thinking and stop exploring other options. There are many paths to get through this, I think.
• Recognize that I will not be as productive.
  I’ve got my financial goal printed right here next to my desk. Sure, I’d like to hit it daily, but if I don’t, I need to recognize that things will be ok. I have a little savings. I will not starve. My cat will not starve.
• Don’t forget to take care of me.
  This one sounds really selfish, I know. But here’s the deal…. I have to work really hard to make sure I stay mentally sound. It doesn’t always work. And when I’m a basket case, I’m no help to anyone. In fact, I contribute to the volatility of a dreadful situation when I go off the deep end. To stay sane, I need to eat right, to exercise at least five days a week, to occasionally put some distance between me and intense situations, to take care of my business and to make sure I am not losing what I worked so hard to achieve.