I work too hard to be liked
I had a meeting scheduled with a vendor for one of my clients today. He didn’t call nor did he respond when I wrote to ask him if the meeting was still on. Ninety minutes later he sends me a short apology and says he needs more time.
I’m pretty irritated that he didn’t bother to cancel, but I had a tough time writing my response without softening it so he wouldn’t think I was a witch.
I wrote back:
Thanks for the update. I juggle a number of appointments a week, and I had to schedule around this meeting. I’d very much appreciate a note in advance before you miss a meeting so I can reschedule other tasks.
Thanks, and I look forward to talking to you soon. Perhaps you can provide the feedback on the articles via email? That may be easier than a meeting for your schedule.
Beth
I had to stop myself from writing “pretty please” or “not to be too cranky, but….” I also had to pull back from adding a smiley face after the first paragraph.
This is a female thing, I think.
Claire on 15 Jul 2008 at 12:02 pm #
Definitely a female thing. You (and I) are running businesses. Right now, I’m waiting for a client to call. Time is money. A doctor’s office makes you reschedule when you are 10 minutes late, don’t they? Why should we be any different?
Claire on 15 Jul 2008 at 12:02 pm #
PS – meant to add, maybe I’m just a hardass.
Dina Lewis on 15 Jul 2008 at 12:03 pm #
Beth–Love the title of this post. /you’ve touched a real nerve here (with me, anyway). I too have had this happen of number of times and vendors have always been the culprits. I think you response was spot-on professional and I have tried to respond similarly. The only time I failed was when a guy did it to me twice. I felt justified in being testy at that point. As you well know, time is your most precious commodity no shame in protecting it as vigorously as you can!
Beth on 15 Jul 2008 at 12:08 pm #
I’m working on being a professional ass, not a hardass, but I think if women assert themselves too much, we come across as hard. But that may be my mother’s voice in my own head, not the reality of the professional world.
Dina, thanks for stopping by. Welcome to Avenue Z!
Beth on 15 Jul 2008 at 12:16 pm #
Interesting… I just realized my post title could be interpreted two ways:
1. I work too hard to bother about whether people like me.
2. I worry too much about whether people like me.
Kurt on 15 Jul 2008 at 12:29 pm #
Beth,
I don’t think it’s a female thing at all. This kind of thing makes me crazy.
On the other hand, my boss (who is as savvy a business owner as I have ever met) excels at maintaining his perspective. He recently asked me, “What did you have for breakfast on January 3rd? Don’t remember? Okay, what pissed you off on January 3rd? Don’t remember that, either, do you? That’s because, with few exceptions, frustrations don’t have long lives.”
So, what did you have for breakfast on January 15th?
Beth on 15 Jul 2008 at 12:56 pm #
Hell. Today is July 15, and I barely remember breakfast from this morning!
Bill on 30 Oct 2008 at 10:32 am #
Looks like a job for Fuzzmail.