Comments on: An impromptu coping mechanism

By: What the heck am I doing with this blog? | Life on Avenue Z

What the heck am I doing with this blog? | Life on Avenue Z — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 17:02:15 +0000

[...] out pretty quickly that I dress strangely, have a fear of commitment and obsess about cupcakes. And ex-boyfriends know when I’m dating again, or — heck — when I buy new [...]

By: steph

steph — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 01:10:59 +0000

Oh my goodness! Sorry for how long my above comment is…

By: steph

steph — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 01:10:34 +0000

@ Claire: you’re talking about the law of attraction! What you resist persists! What you focus on, as you said, becomes reality.

@Beth: I think you have it down, my friend. you’re on the right track. People always say they lost weight when they stopped obsessing, or the right guy came along when they weren’t looking for him. If you constantly focus on what you want (to be happy and happily linked with a significant other) rather than on what you don’t want (to be lonely or single or whatever), what you want must happen. It’s all about thinking positively, by which I mean reworking your thoughts and your words to read positively rather than in the negative tense. As editors and writers we understand such a thing; it’s sort of like changing passive voice to active. Recast “I don’t want to gain weight or be fat” to read “I want to be slim and healthy” and your whole attitude changes, as well as your actions.

I’m sounding as though I’ve got this down. I do not. I know the talk, but it’s damn hard to walk it. My hubby’s working on a positive attitude site and he reminds me and tries to keep me on track. I too am a worry-wort, especially when it comes to finances and work. And I’m thus usually broke and without work. The past two weeks without, I’ve been focusing on writing and being grateful for my job, and guess what? Out of the blue, three jobs arrived for me today. I love it! Next is that gigantic check that I’ve been waiting for, I just know it.

PS. An impromptu albeit very temporary coping mechanism for me is chocolate, btw. Green & Black’s Organic Mayan Gold, or something equally delicious!

By: Papa

Papa — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 21:40:43 +0000

Your Papa loves you

By: Beth

Beth — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 20:18:45 +0000

Mel, I’ll take all the advice I can get. A friend just pointed out that I have spent a solid 18 of my 39 years engaged in looking for love in one way or another.

Eighteen years of dating. Shoot me now.

By: Mel

Mel — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 20:15:20 +0000

Oh, no-no-no-no! You HAVE to read “Men are Easy.”

http://www.menareeasy.com/

I’m telling you, Beth, you will look completely different at men and relationships! Especially if you’re in a constant state of worry… which I have always seemed to find myself.

By: Claire

Claire — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 15:41:26 +0000

Here’s another saying in my head – I have lots of these. I tell people my “picker is broken”. Obviously, cuz I’m in the same boat as you. The Rules is basically about old-fashioned dating and letting the boy chase you – it’s in their nature. It’s also about being independent and doing your own thing (modern feminism.)

By: Beth

Beth — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 15:17:44 +0000

Claire, I love that saying. Sounds like it’s something I need to put on my wall.

I haven’t read “All the Rules.” Heck. I haven’t read any rules. But my friend last night said, “You think you know what you want from a guy in a relationship, right? Well, you’re wrong, because none of your relationships have worked.”

I bought her a beer.

By: Claire

Claire — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 15:15:31 +0000

Coupla things: One of my favorite sayings goes something like this: What you focus on increases. I think that’s a law of nature. So, if you focus on being alone you get more of that. If you focus on wealth (supposedly) you get more of that. In theory.

Also, have you read All the Rules? Someone recently recommended that to me. Enlightening. If I’d read this when I was 25, or even 15, I might be married now to the love of my life.