Today is Black Friday when everything’s on sale. Here’s my shopping list of things you might want to buy to equip your office.

Becoming a professional writer doesn’t take very much equipment. You can really get started with the very basics of tools…

1. A laptop computer with a ton of memory and a fast chip. I have a Sony Vaio.
2. Amazingly fast internet access. I have cable.
3. An all-in-one office machine with a printer, scanner, fax machine and copier. Mine’s an HP Officejet.
4. A phone with speaker phone (mine doesn’t have it, darn it), call waiting, a robust long-distance plan, call forwarding and voice mail. You should also have a cell phone to forward calls to.
5. Microsoft Office (I choose office because it’s the most common — all your clients probably use it).
6. Stapler, tape, pens and pencils, paper clips, etc. These are very cheap at back-to-school sales.

Once you have the basics, you can add a few extras as you see fit. Here are the items on my second tier of needs…

1. Steno pads for notes.
2. A nice portfolio for face-to-face visits with clients.
3. Other note pads for daily to do lists.
4. A highlighter (I have only one — I love them and need more).
5. Labels for direct mail efforts. I like the Avery Easy Peel Clear Mailing Labels.
6. Thank you notes for clients.
7. Accounting software — I use a free program called Microsoft Accounting. Works just fine.
8. Organizational tools like color-coded folders and color tabs for the steno pads.
9. A big-screen monitor and separate keyboard and mouse for the laptop.
10. A shredder.
11. Recycled paper (I use both sides).
12. A backup system for files. I use Mozy.com and love it.
13. A time-tracking system. I use Pelotonics, which is also a project management system.

More of my favorite freebies
More about what’s on a copywriter’s desk

Since it’s just me in San Diego this year, Thanksgiving is going to be pretty quiet. I’m not cooking anything, so I thought I’d share my family’s most treasured holiday dish. I promise it’s always the biggest crowd pleaser.

Note: No one has written this recipe down. Ever. And each year we have to struggle to remember the ratios for the sauce. So each year we guess how it’s supposed to bake and make the sauce to taste.

Family Ziesenis Green Beans with Mustard Sauce

2 lbs fresh green beans
1 lb bacon
1 stick butter
1 tablespoon vinegar
3 tablespoons yellow mustard

Pinch the ends off the green beans and keep them long. Cut the bacon strips in half, and wrap small bundles of the beans with bacon, using toothpicks to secure. Place green bean bundles on a cookie sheet lined with foil and bake in the oven. My mother says she’d try 350 degrees for 30-40 minutes. You want to cook the bacon thoroughly without destroying the green beans.

To make the sauce, melt the butter slowly in a saucepan. Add the mustard first and the vinegar last, stirring constantly. We usually make the sauce after the green beans have baked because it doesn’t take long, and the sauce will separate if it gets cold. Mom says to make sure you don’t boil the sauce so it doesn’t curdle. My sister says to start with two tablespoons of mustard and add more to taste.

Serve the green beans and sauce separately, since some people (my sister, for example) aren’t fond of mustard.

I treated myself to an expensive haircut today, thanks to my generous mother’s birthday check. I walked in and told the stylist that I really had no idea what I wanted.

“Fix it,” I said. And boy did he.

I have thick hair, and now it’s thin, thin. I had split ends that needed to go, and he took them off and ADDED split ends, calling it “shattering” the ends for volume. My hair is a thousand different lengths and will never look good in a ponytail at the gym. And the ends are dry as sticks and look dead.

My immediate thought: THIS GUY SUCKS! But then I thought for a minute about how he came to the conclusions he did about what would work.

Here are two places this relationship went bad…

One, as the customer, I didn’t know what I wanted. I came in with a problem and said I’d like a solution. And he gave me the solution he thought was best.

Two, when I didn’t know what I wanted, he didn’t ask any questions that would perhaps help him to help me figure out what I wanted. “Are you looking for something more professional?” he could have asked. “Are there any people who come to mind with hair you like?” But he didn’t ask any questions. He just went forward as an expert and assumed he was doing what I wanted.

This is what happens with professional service providers if we don’t ask enough questions. “I have a problem” a client will say. As a professional writer, I need to help the client to define the problem, to identify what solutions would solve that problem, to recognize concepts that would solve the problem in a way that fits into their business. But sometimes I’m guilty of saying, “Right. You’ve got a problem. I’ll give you my solution.” And this doesn’t work, which is why I was summarily dismissed by a recent client.

So, for now I’m going to wear a hat, and I’m going to use the lesson I learned to make my business thrive so I can afford to find a better stylist.

As of today, I’m 39 years old. I was talking to a friend last night, and she said, "I don’t worry about the number — I just think about where I am and what I’ve accomplished to see if I’m on track."

We then proceeded to attend a small dinner party that included indulgent food and too much wine, and I certainly didn’t feel I was acting any age I’ve been in the last decade. But that’s beside the point.

Her comment really has me thinking. When my mother turned 39, she had a very tough time. We other family members quietly left her presents in the bathroom for her to discover. Celebrating was out of the question. I’m not feeling threatened or unhappy about my new number, but I’m not sure it’s because I’m comfortable with what I’ve accomplished. When I turned 30, I cried for days, mainly because I hadn’t accomplished a goal I had set to be published by 30.

But today, now, these days, for the past several years…. I don’t really feel a ticking clock beside me. In fact, making the move to be a professional writer has instead made me more comfortable with the clock. I always imagined I’d use writing as a retirement plan, and now that I’m working for myself, I don’t have to worry about ageism or sexism or a lot of -isms, real or imagined, that may have affected how confident I felt in a more conventional job.

I’m good at what I do. I’m glad I’m doing it. And my age at this point is just a number.

Yesterday I attended a free training from Constant Contact, the company I use for my eNewsletter and emails. I was excited about going for a couple of reasons: 1. I wanted to find ways to increase my eNewsletter open rate, and 2. I wanted to see how the company put on workshops to see if the concept would work for another of my clients.

Picture this: 75 or so small business owners looking to improve or start their own eNewsletters. What did they need more than anything? Guidance and content. What do I do for a living? Provide content and help for marketing efforts such as eNewsletters.

And what was I thinking about when I first got to the meeting? Whether or not I should have a muffin for breakfast.

(Please slap forehead here.)

As we were waiting for the session to start, the speaker greeted attendees. I introduced myself as a copywriter. The speaker turned to the other participants and announced, "Hey, people wanted to know where to get content… This woman has a company that produces content!" Within minutes three people came to introduce themselves. "Can you call me tomorrow?" one guy said. "We always need content!" another couple said. "Can you give me a price range…"

Holy smokes! How dumb could I be? I should have been networking from the get go.

The speaker really did all the wonderful things for me. When I raised my hand to respond to a question later, he said again, "And you’re a writer, right? And you specialize in eNewsletters?" In a mock, cheesy voice, I announced, "Yes — I am a WRITER WHO SPECIALIZES IN NEWSLETTERS." Everyone laughed, and the speaker said, "Make sure you get her card before you go.

I ended up with 10 leads and another half dozen people left with my card. And I was worried about muffins. Jeeze.