It’s been an interesting week here on Avenue Z. I’ve had to turn to legal counsel to make a stand against a company that is refusing to pay me monies due. This has nothing to do with my freelance writing business but stems from LBAZ (Life Before Avenue Z).

As a business owner, it’s important for me to protect myself and my business from injuries to both my finances and my reputation. As a woman from a primarily Southern culture, these actions completely and utterly contradict my nature and nurture. I can’t describe how many times I’ve written off sums of money, outright slights, complete insults and more. "It’s not worth the trouble," I’d think. Or, "I shouldn’t move forward because I might be wrong." If I’m totally honest, I’ll admit that what I’m really thinking is, "I don’t want anyone mad at me."

I can’t back down this time. Through my mind is running the self-admonition, "Ziesenis, For God’s Sake — GROW A PAIR." My legal guide told me, "Don’t puss out now."

I write this blog from the point of view of a small business owner, not from the point of view of a female small business owner. But my testicular mantra coupled with my advisor’s advice to "not puss out" have really brought to mind the characteristics and vernacular that are typically associated with tough business people. If someone backs down, he (she) is a puss, but those who step up have cojones. Interesting, isn’t it, that people who don’t step up are given female characteristics, and people who fight have male characteristics.

I have been preparing to take this action since the company starting making noises like they were not going to pay me. I had a very tough time committing to making the move I made, but now that I have, I’m prepared to amplify this far beyond the amount of money due. I am not naive enough to think that an idle threat would be enough. But the fact that I’m committed to following through on my plan doesn’t mean I don’t wish this would all dissolve and get back to normal. I am learning the painful way that it may be possible for me to stay the woman I like to be and to add a significant amount of testosterone to my position as a strong, independent business owner.