Man but it’s been a rough week. As I work through the afternoon on this gloriously beautiful Sunday in San Diego, I feel lonely and depressed by the isolation that is intrinsic to writing for a living. I’ve been sitting here in a very quiet apartment for hours, days, a week at a time, trying hard not to dwell on recent personal upheavals and the ever-present worries about whether I can pay the rent. Even if I get out like I have been making the effort to do lately — coffee with friends, a bottle of wine with a neighbor — I still face 12, 14, 20 hours a day in the thick, smothering silence of this quiet apartment where those self-defeating thoughts fester and spread.

My family in Colorado keeps encouraging me to get a job or to move back to the Denver area so I’m not so isolated. And there have been some hours this week when I’m very, very tempted to put together a resume and pass it around.

What keeps me going, keeps me dedicated to pursuing my dream of writing for a living on my own terms, is that at a moment’s notice I have the ability to throw in the towel. Today, tomorrow. Next week. Next year. I can quit. I’m not trapped by the road I’ve taken. I have options at any time.

When I was in Peace Corps in Mali, West Africa, I adopted the same philosophy. The first few months in my little village were very rough… I didn’t know the language very well; it was unbearably hot every night and every day; I stayed sick almost all the time. My parents recognized that I was close to the end of my rope, and they purchased a ticket for me to return to the States for Christmas.

I had been away since February — almost a year — and the first thing I recognized was that nothing at all had changed. I had grown as a person, developed new language and coping skills, seen things no one I knew had seen before. But the US was exactly the same. I recognized right then that if I quit that Christmas or the next Christmas or if I served the full 27 months, I could slip back into my cultural mainstream with no problem, no ripple, no explanation needed.

So, despite the fact that owning my own business and making my own living and sitting alone in this apartment is really, really tough at times, I know this is making me stronger, smarter and ultimately more fulfilled. And I know that I can change things and slip back into a mainstream life the moment I decide I’m really, really done.

I’m just not done yet.

In light of the recent demise of my love life, I’ve decided that I will treat every day of the week as Tuesday. That means that this Saturday morning started off just like a Tuesday would: I splurged on coffee at my favorite coffee shop, then I returned here to my computer to get some work done. Tonight I’ll go to the gym and spend two hours working out, luxuriating in the whirlpool and sitting in the sauna.

Today’s tasks include getting my blog back in shape. After Wordpress decided I was an evil marketer and I moved to TypePad, I have been horribly neglectful of my blog duties. Today I’m creating my blogroll again and visiting my favorite blogs.

Let me introduce them here:

• BROOD — A clever, witty, sassy commentary on life
• David Castle Art — A Colorado artist who creates amazing abstracts with deep jewel tones
• HappyKatie — The inspiring woman who encouraged me to start this blog
• Idea Jump! — Another clever, witty female writer
• Ingrid in England — My brave auditor friend who moved to England for an amazing adventure
• lifehack.org — Smart tips on productivity
• Living the Gluten
  Free Life — Another Colorado blogger with a great sense of humor
• Seth Godin — The bestselling writer and marketing guru who visited this blog TWICE! No really.
• TSTC Publishing’s
  Book Business Blog — A great insider’s look at the publishing business
• Whisper — An insightful writer with beautiful photography and quirky pets
• Moonbeam McQueen — Hilarity and clever commentary from a fellow writer
• Life with Buck — It doesn’t get much funnier than this woman’s account of life with her husband (the famous Buck) and their dog, Stella

I know I’m forgetting some blogs that I enjoy. Please don’t be offended. I’ll remember soon — I have a lot more time on my hands these days.

At the beginning of October, I started working with two senior employees at a company with
big plans. They wanted to start off with a companion piece for their biggest PowerPoint sales presentation. Then by the end of the month they wanted to have a new presentation and several other deliverables that would help them really speak to their audiences.

I finished the first piece on time, and I wrote to them to ask what was next on the list. I got a note back that the flyer was great and they were going to start using it right away.

Great, I said. What’s next? I left a message, sent another couple of emails, and then finally just sent the invoice with a nice note. “Looking forward to working with you again,” I signed .

I still haven’t heard from them. I think they saw my first piece and perhaps said, “Wow — we can do this. Why am I paying someone else to do this?” Or maybe they got busy and put this project in the corner. Or maybe they didn’t like what I gave them.

At any rate, I don’t expect to hear back. This coupled with a personal rejection this week hits home the point that not everyone is going to like you. And this may hurt your feelings and make you feel like less of a person or a writer or a business owner. But it really just means that you weren’t the right fit.

I’m starting another proposal for another potential client, and I just remembered something I did wrong for my last big proposal. When I’m looking at a multi-step project, I mentally assign an amount of time I think it’s going to take to complete the project.

A better idea: Write your time estimates down.

This time I’m making a grid of all the project components and putting in my time estimates. That way when I’m working on the project, I can track how long I think a project will take versus how long it actually took, thus helping me to refine my estimating procedures.

My project management system allows me to track time spent on each project.

Here are the other tips on estimating and proposals that I posted the other day.